Avatars and Interpretations
by dogbertcarroll
Summary: YAHF! The Scoobies dress as popular comic book characters, but popular characters are always subject to personal interpretations...
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: DC comics and Mutant Enemy has more lawyers then you would believe, or is actually legal I think. I own nothing! Honest!

DBC Presents: Avatars and Interpretations.

* * *

Spike almost felt like laughing… almost.

It had been a great plan. Gather all the vamps under one banner and hit the White Hats on patrol with overwhelming force. With Angel gone the Slayer would be depressed and easy prey.

The running battle that had occurred bore little resemblance to the plan. The Slayer hadn't been depressed at all. She was not only at the top of her game, but had bought a ladder as well.

'Even the Whelp and the Witch are downright lethal.'

Creeping along the wall he scented the air carefully. Other then a little dust and traces of old dried blood, the air in the warehouse smelled empty. 'How the hell is he hidin' his scent?'

Half of the 30-odd vampires he had managed to convince to follow him had already been dusted and the rest were steadily being whittled down. A flash of color and what sounded like a horn honking, marked another one of his minions dusted. The flap of enormous shoes smacking against the concrete faded far too quickly for him to trace where they came from.

'Bloody hell! I was sure Dru was just raving when she was going on about this bloke, but this… this is insane.'

Ducking behind a stack of crates, Spike wondered if he could reach the sewer entrance before whatever it was had completely decimated his minions.

* * *

One month earlier, in a newly opened costume shop…

The three Scooby's leafed through the racks of costumes in the superhero/villain section.

"I'm not saying going as comic book characters is a bad idea. As a matter of fact, I think it's a great idea! I'm just saying I don't like Batman."

Willow glanced up from the Raven costume she was looking at, "What's wrong with Batman? I thought you liked him."

"I just can't buy the brooding."

Buffy put a Wonder Woman costume back on the rack, "I like him."

Xander snorted in annoyance, while holding a Joker costume up to himself, "The man has absolutely nothing to brood about. He's rich and good looking, with tons of spandex clad women who redefine the word 'hot' around him."

"Like Batwoman?" Buffy grinned as she passed a Batgirl outfit to Willow, who held it up to herself.

Xander didn't even glance up as he examined a green and yellow Creeper outfit, "Nah, _Bat-Girl_ was more like a member of the family then a romantic interest. I was thinking of Catwoman. Anyone who has a woman like **that** after him has zero reasons to mope about his life."

Buffy looked at the Catwoman costume she had been examining and quickly exchanged it for the Batgirl outfit that Willow was holding.

Willow turned bright red looking at the tight black latex outfit, complete with high heels and bullwhip, and unsuccessfully attempted to push it back into Buffy's hands.

Xander took another look at the Joker costume, "Now the Joker was an interesting character. He was one of the few bad guys that just offed people, instead of letting them be saved at the last minute. No pathetic cry for help, in the form of clues to his next crime, from him. Batman only seemed cool because the Joker was his arch enemy."

Behind him Willow was attempting to put the Slayer in a headlock and force her to take back the Catwoman outfit, Buffy meanwhile was clutching the Batgirl costume and trying to shake off the determined hacker.

Xander was completely oblivious to the impromptu wrestling match behind him, as he compared the Creeper costume to the Joker one, "The main reason I don't like him isn't the broodiness

tho'. I dislike him because he chose the bat as his symbol and he choose it because Dracula was considered the height of scary at the time they made the comic. So he's basically a wannabe vamp."

Buffy was turning Red, as Willow applied pressure to the sleeper hold she had her trapped in.

"Besides, can you really picture me wearing that oversized Speedo they call a costume? Sure the top half is fine. It has padding built in, to look like the body armor he wears under his suit, but the bottom half is pure spandex. It's so clingy you'd be able to tell what religion I was and the current temperature at a glance."

Willow's grip loosened as her eyes began to glaze over, allowing the semi-conscious blond to escape and recover, as they both pictured Xander…

"Xander…", Buffy pouted at his back and made with the puppy dog eyes.

The sole male Scooby felt his palms itch for a stake, as if certain doom was fast approaching. However as it was daylight and he was in a public place he foolishly ignored it and turned straight into the puppy dog eyes and resolve face of Buffy Anne Summers

and Willow Rosenberg respectively.

"No, No way, No how!", Xander desperately tried to avoid his doom.

"You did promise that if we went as part of a team you would dress the part…", Buffy whined cutely with Willow backing her.

"But… but….but…"

Willow just smirked. She knew they had Xander cornered. He'd never broken a promise to her when he had a choice in the matter.

"Fine", He sighed heavily, "But Buffy has to dress as Catwoman."

'If I gotta be a vamp wannabe at least I'll get to see Buff in something of a skintight variety.'

"Willow was going to go as…", Buffy trailed off as Willow had managed to unobtrusively grab her left hand and twist it up behind her back.

"Can I be of service?"

The oily presence of Ethan Rayne made itself known, causing everyone to jump and giving Buffy time to escape Willow's hold.

Recovering a bit quicker then the others Xander spoke up, trying unsuccessfully to hide the quaver in his voice as his pulse rate began to slow back down to something resembling normal, "I need the Batman outfit and we need another Catwoman outfit for Willow here.", 'If I'm going to die of embarrassment I won't be dying alone!'

"Not a problem. I have another Catwoman outfit in the back. It's from the short lived Birds of Prey series, so I didn't put it out. The costumes out here are from the more well known movie versions."

Ethan chuckled to himself. He'd make sure the boy dressing as Batman was going to have an interesting time. 'The term cat fight is going to take on a whole new meaning tonight!'

* * *

Later that evening, at Casa del Summers…

"Hello, Xander. The girls are still getting ready, but they should be done any minute now. "

"Thanks, Mrs. Summers." Xander had a faded black trench coat covering the Batman costume underneath, with the cowl hanging unnoticed down the back.

"How many times do I have to tell you? Call me Joyce." She admonished him gently with a smile.

"But that completely ruins the fantasy!" Xander complained with a grin, as he gave her a long lecherous look from top to bottom.

Blushing the elder Summers slapped him on the shoulder, "Oh, you!"

The voices of both of the Summers girls called out in chorus "Xander, stop flirting with my mom!"

Xander slapped a confused expression on his face and held up his arm, placing two fingers against his wrist before yelling back, "Sorry Girls, no can do."

The Summers girls answered back in stereo once more, "Why not?"

Xander grinned his usual lopsided grin, "Cause I got a pulse!"

Joyce's laugher filled the house as all three of the girls upstairs yelled, "Xander!"

Buffy quickly appeared at the head of the stairs in full Catwoman attire, "Xander! No flirting! My mom is a no flirting Zone."

Xander turned towards the stairs and froze with his mouth half open and whatever comment he'd been about to say forgotten.

Buffy smirked, 'Much better'. Posing a little she did her level best to redirect all the blood flow from his brain.

'Latex…' Xander's brain was struggling to keep as much blood as possible north of the equator with little success.

Willow stepped out and posed beside Buffy. She really wasn't comfortable in the dark purple counterpart to Buffy's outfit, but Buffy had managed to convince her that she was going to have to make a decent showing if she wanted to claim the Dark Knight for her own.

Xander's eyes shifted from Buffy's slender black latex, with white seams thrown on randomly, clad form to Willow's purple velour outfit.

Skin tight purple so dark it was almost black showed off all of the curves Willow had available and it came as quite a shock to Xander to realize she had quite a few available. Her breasts were actually a bit larger then Buffy's and the tiger's eyes contacts and fake fangs gave her a bit of an exotic feel.

A rush of teen hormones from the sight of the two Catwomen and the associated shock of seeing Willow as definitely being drool worthy dropped Xander to his knees and removed the capability for speech.

"Uhgawa hawat gelone!"

Joyce glanced down at Xander's kneeling form, "I think you broke him."

"That or he's learned to speak Swahili.", Buffy fired back.

Willow was bouncing up and down excitedly. Xander had noticed her as something other then one of the guys!

Buffy and Joyce looked at Xander's vacant gaze and bobbing head for a moment before following his gaze up the stairs to where his eyes were tethered.

"Umm… Willow? You're going to give him whiplash if you keep that up." Buffy interjected, a tiny bit of jealousy slipping into her voice.


	2. Chapter 2

**A clowder of cats **

The rumble of booted feet, bouncing down the stairs, heralded the arrival of the youngest Summers sister.

"Alright, who broke my Xander?" Dawn glared at the assembled catwomen.

Buffy actually shrank back a bit from the look in her little sister's eyes. Normally she'd have just glared back, but the cat's eyes contacts Dawn wore, along with the extended canines, gave her snarl a feral look that Buffy wasn't used to on anything she couldn't stake. "She did it!"

Willow looked shocked at Buffy's betrayal, but a hint of pride was still lurking in her eyes from 'breaking' Xander. "Ididn'tmeantodoititwasanaccidentbutit'skindacutethewayhejustkneelstheredroolingandtwitching…" Willow ran down a bit, turning bright red beneath her mask.

Joyce smirked at the way the girls were fussing over Xander. It seemed like the only one of the three he was interested in, was the one that wasn't interested in him or was at the very least extremely good at hiding it. He was completely oblivious to the affections of the other two girls; One, because she meant too much to him for him to ever consider 'dirtying' her with thoughts of a sexual nature, much less actions and Two, because she was a whole two years younger than him. 'Two years seems like forever at their age.'

Joyce grinned to herself, as she decided to fix her erstwhile son. Grabbing her purse off the coffee table she pulled out a small cellophane wrapped object and purposely crinkled the wrapper.

Xander's eyes stopped tracking Willow's curves, snapping shut as he started sniffing the air.

Giggling the Summers matriarch shook the cellophane encased Twinkie several times and then tossed it into the air above Xander. She could have sworn his eyes flashed green for a second, as he leapt into the air from his knees and grabbed the Twinkie before diving behind the sofa.

Safely ensconced in the space between the wall and the sofa he began caressing the golden cake and singing The Twinkie Hunter's song. "I'm gonna eat you little Twinkie, I'm gonna eat you little Twinkie, cause I like eating Twinkies!"

The giggling reminded him that he wasn't alone. "It's my Twinkie, you can't have it!"

The giggling exploded into full blown laughter, as he devoured his precious noisily.

"Xander, come out from behind there and show me your costume." Dawn called out.

"Sure, give me a second." Xander quickly pulled up the cowl and took off the trench coat, so they'd get the full effect.

Popping out from behind the sofa, he dropped his trench coat on the couch and posed with his hands on his hips. "I'm Batman!"

Blushing under the catcalls, he quickly swirled his cape over himself.

Buffy grinned and teased him a bit. "You weren't kidding about the spandex effect, it's like you're wearing body paint."

"Yeah. So, Dawnie who are you dressed as?" He quickly tried to turn the spotlight away from his costume, that he was sure was creeping up on him.

"I am Catwoman 2.0. This year's latest Catwoman, for those who feel like upgrading from the old sagging models, but you can call me Huntress." Dawn grinned, showing off her own fangs and cat's eye contacts. Black boots, jeans, and shirt with a crocodile skin jacket made up the whole of her costume, ignoring the padding she'd added up front to try and compete with her older sister, whom she was glad did not get her breasts from mom's side of the family like Dawn did, even if the two years in age gave her a bit of an edge still.

Sensing the restart of hostilities between her daughters, Joyce spoke up.

"It's a very nice costume, Xander. Which Batman are you?"

"Why Lady Chatterley, I'm simply a common entomologist. The costume is to scare them out of hiding, as insects are a bat's favorite prey. Now, I was lead to believe you had some butterflies you wished to show me." Xander said in his best Adam West voice.

Joyce flushed, recognizing the movie reference, but grinned and was about to fire back a few choice lines of innuendo, when Buffy decided to step in and enforce the 'No Flirting With Mom' rule, by distracting him.

"I didn't think you were so vain you'd stuff your costume, Xan." The slayer reached out and started feeling a particular bulge in his spandex.

Joyce knew she should stop her, but this was something she could use to embarrass her daughter for years! She also knew, from the shape of things, that Xander hadn't stuffed anything and was a... talented young man for his age.

"What'd ya stuff in here, half the sock drawer and why's it so warm..." Buffy's voice trailed off and she froze, as she realized that Xander hadn't stuffed anything and that she was fondling her best male friend's bits.

"It's getting bigger!" Willow voiced, as the girls stared at Xander's crotch in disbelief at what Buffy was doing.

Xander's eyes were open about as wide as they could go. Somehow, he'd never, not even in some of his more perverted dreams, imagined this happening.

Joyce knew that as the responsible adult here she should step in, but it was taking nearly everything she had to keep from laughing. Oh yes, she had struck parental embarrassment gold tonight!

Just as everyone thought things had reached a level of embarrassment that no one could top, Dawn showed that she was indeed related to Buffy.

"How the hell am I gonna fit that in me?"

Dawn's complexion matched Willow's hair, as she realized that she'd said that out loud and seconds later she was up the stairs and hiding in her room, completely mortified.

Joyce spoke up over Xander's incoherent babbling of apologies and denials. "It's ok, Xander. I know you didn't do anything. She's just at that age. Buffy, perhaps you should move your hand now."

Buffy practically teleported away from Xander, her own apologies just as incoherent as his were a second before.

"You kids have fun. I don't think Dawn will be joining you. Looks like I'll be giving her The Talk a bit earlier then I did Buffy." Joyce just managed to shoo them outside, before she completely lost it and had to muffle her laughter with a sofa cushion.


	3. Chapter 3

**Avatars and Interpretations: Chapter 3**

"You two go ahead, I'm just going to walk back here and whimper for a bit," Xander said, waving the girls forward.

"If you're sure," Willow said dubiously.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. I just need a couple of minutes," he promised.

Buffy still red faced about fondling Xander's bits just nodded as Willow pulled her ahead.

Silence reigned for about 30 seconds before Buffy noticed Willow's smirk and the way she was walking, with an extra little sway in her hips. Turning her head to talk to Willow she could see Xander out of the corner of her eye and his eyes were glued to Willow's ass. "If you keep that up, Xander's going to end up traumatizing a whole lot of kids when we get there," Buffy whispered, unaware that she'd put a little extra sway into her own hips.

Willow pouted a little but stilled her swaying for the moment before saying, "So, I heard your dad took you hunting for Moray Eels?"

Buffy was about to ask Willow what she was talking about, but Willow gave her a look and jerked her chin minutely towards Xander whose gaze was bouncing back and forth behind the two girls. "Oh, yeah," Buffy said quickly, "Murray Eels are good eating."

Willow winced at Buffy's bad acting but continued on, "I heard you got your hands on a big one; how big would you say it was?"

Buffy's eyes widened and she glanced back to make sure Xander wasn't paying attention. "It jumped out of the rocks and startled me, so I didn't get a chance for any accurate measurements."

"Well was it bigger or smaller than the prize winner from last year? The one that was dead and on ice?"

"That's not a fair comparison," Buffy complained stridently, "I mean stuff contracts when its dead I think and the cold can't help matters any!"

"I don't care about fair, I just want to know if the one you caught in the catch and release program was bigger than the one on ice."

"It was fatter," Buffy admitted grudgingly through gritted teeth, "but I'm sure if it was tossed on ice it'd get thinner too."

Willow rolled her eyes. "And length?"

"Can't be sure, as neither was laid out with a ruler to check, but about the same or close enough that it makes no real difference."

Willow actually purred.

"Oh look Snyder!" Buffy said cheerfully, letting her friends know they'd arrived and the troll was heading their way.

Xander caught up with the two and they took in the legion of costumed children. "Oh boy," he summed up and they nodded.

"Oh good, the delinquents are here," Snyder drawled sarcastically.

"If we're that much trouble we should just go," Xander said reasonably, taking the girls by the arms and turning as if to leave.

"Not so fast Harris!" Snyder called out.

"We volunteered to help," Xander said, "but if we're just going to cause you stress we'd be happy to leave so we don't add to your problems."

Snyder cleared his throat as he noticed Xander had attracted the attention of several of the helping PTA members. "No, no; you signed up and we're counting on you."

"Well lead me to my fellow trick or treaters and I'll take them out and bring them back before it gets too dark," Xander said cheerfully, drawing smiles from some of the parents.

"You have Class C," Snyder said with forced cheer, "it's the one over there."

Xander ignored Snyder, knowing that as long as there were responsible adults around he'd have to pretend to be a decent human being and took a look at his kids. "It's a mini Justice League!"

The children laughed.

"I see a Robin, a Green Arrow, and a green … what are you?" Xander asked.

"I'm the Hulk!" the little boy in the tattered purple shorts said, striking a muscle man pose.

"Nice one!" Xander chimed, high fiving the little kid. "A Wonder Woman, a Super Girl, and …"

The little girl was dressed all in white including the frames of her glasses and hair. "The Holy Witness," she whispered.

"Understood," Xander said, giving her a wink and wondering where her costume came from. "Well I have team rings and force field bracelets for everyone," he said, pulling out a package of flexible glow sticks and a package of tin Batman rings he'd spent five bucks on winning at Chuck E' Cheese's a year or two ago.

The six children he was escorting were shortly all wearing bracelets of blue and green glow sticks on their left arms and little tin Bat Rings on their right hands.

Xander pulled on his cowl. "Justice League assemble!" he called out, his kids falling in line behind him in pairs.

"He's going to be a great dad one day," Willow said.

"Yeah," Buffy agreed wistfully.

"You have bigger boobies than she does," a boy dressed as Wolverine told Willow, as he looked between Willow and Buffy.

"Why … thank you," Willow said.

"Jeffy!" a little girl dressed as a witch groaned.

"Well she does!" he said firmly, "and Wolverine always likes redheads."

"Mommy says you aren't supposed to comment on how big girls breasts are! You're supposed to complement their eyes!" a little boy dressed as a dragon said.

Wolverine turned back to Willow. "You have great eyes, they're much bigger than hers, will you be my girlfriend?"

Buffy smothered her laughter. "Come on my minions, it's time to score some candy."

The children cheered as they set off for a night of candy collection.

0oOo0

"Honey, it's not that bad," Joyce said as she sat on Dawn's bed.

"I said 'how can I fit that inside me' right in front of him," Dawn replied from beneath her bed.

"And Buffy felt him up," her mother reminded her, "and she's out there with him right now."

"I – I guess you're right," Dawn said climbing out from under the bed.

"Trust me dear, being older and wiser, I can tell you that as long as you don't bring it up he'll pretend not to have heard it."

"Really?" Dawn asked hopefully.

"Really," Joyce assured her.

"I guess things aren't as bad as I thought, but I can barely get a finger in there, how in the world could I get something that size in me?" Dawn demanded.

"You don't," Joyce said flatly, "you're much too young. You have years to go before you need to worry about it."

"But I want Xander to pay attention to me and Justine said older boys only pay attention to you if you do stuff like that with them."

"Doesn't Xander pay attention to you now?" Joyce asked.

"Yeah," Dawn admitted.

"And do you do any of that with him?"

"No."

"So Justine is wrong, Xander pays attention to you because you're you, not because you do any of that with him."

"Yeah," Dawn said as she cheered up, "he listens when I talk and spendstime with me when he comes over and I like to jump on him, because he catches me and swings me around and then hugs me."

"He likes you just the way you are," Joyce said standing up, happy she didn't have to give her youngest daughter the full talk yet.

"And it feels really good when I wrap my legs around him and squeeze hard for a second!"

Joyce sat back down and for just an instant she could swear she heard her mother laughing at her. "Looks like it's time to give you the talk after all."

**AN: Typing by Godogma the ever living!**


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